When Your Spouse Is Stuck: How to Help Them Get Out of the Funk

Have you ever had one of those days—the kind that turns into weeks or even months—where you feel so completely overwhelmed by your own circumstances that you just feel stuck? Maybe you're the one in that place, or maybe it’s your spouse. When they get into that kind of funk, it can be incredibly frustrating. A part of you just wants to shake them and say, "Wake up! Get over it!" But the truth is, that's not what they need. It's not a loving or compassionate response.

I’ve been there myself. I can raise two hands and admit to feeling that frustration. You see your spouse struggling to get unstuck, and you don't know how to help. You might even feel more irritated than helpful. But if we're going to love our spouses with a godly love, we have to move past that frustration and toward compassion.

A Moment of Compassion

Just a month or so ago, I was in that very spot. I felt completely stuck and distraught over some personal issues. One Saturday afternoon, my spouse saw me and asked, "What do you need?"

I appreciated him asking, but I didn't have an answer. Have you ever been there? When you're in that deep of a funk, you don't even know what would make you feel better. All I could say was, "I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry. I want to crawl in a hole and make it all go away." It was an honest, vulnerable moment.

Instead of saying, "Just get over it," he looked at me and said something that surprised me. "You’re getting out of this house."

I protested, of course. "Where are we going? We don't have any errands to run."

He didn't care. "It doesn’t matter. We're just going to go." He made me get up, get dressed, brush my hair, and get out of the house.

This simple act of love and firmness was exactly what I needed.

The Power of a Change of Scenery

We ended up at a home store in the mall. For us, a place like that is like a museum. It might sound silly, but it's true! We can wander through a store like that for a long time, and something will always make us smile. We'll see something and talk about it—a cool design, an odd decoration, or a piece of furniture that reminds us of something from our past.

"Do you remember that brown couch we had? The one we called the peanut butter couch? This reminds me of it!" We'll share a laugh, and just like that, the moment has shifted.

That small excursion got my mind off my own junk. It created a happy memory and even brought up some old ones. The conversation and laughter made the rest of my day better. It was a simple solution to a complex emotional problem.

Your Challenge: Get 'Em Out of the House

My encouragement and challenge for you is this: If you see your spouse in a similar emotional state, get them out of the house. They might resist. They might say, "No, I don't want to go anywhere." That's when you have to be their advocate. Tell them, "I'm doing this for you because I love you. Let's go."

It doesn't have to be a big trip. A walk around the neighborhood works just fine. You could go to a local animal shelter and pet some dogs, or just drive and look at the scenery. The goal is to change the environment and provide a small distraction that might put a little smile on their face.

And if you are the one who is stuck in a funk, let your spouse help you. Sometimes, when we're overwhelmed, we don't know how to move forward or even how to take a single step. Let them take you by the hand and say, "I've got you. God has you. Let me help you out of this situation for a moment." Just go with it. Let them do what they can to brighten your mood.

That's why they are there—to be your partner and to help you when you feel like you can't help yourself. So, please, take this challenge to heart. It might be the best thing you can do for your spouse and your marriage today.