Try this fun experience as a married couple to keep the spontaneity alive in your relationship
Are you tired of doing the same thing everyday in your marriage. I know as the years roll by it does get harder to always come up with something different to spice up the relationship with your spouse. There are lots of reasons for this. After awhile as I like to say those reasons or obstacles tend to become excuses. Then what happens over time is that boredom can set in and for some you may even question the relationship. Obviously we hope that is never the case and that you are able to withstand a little boredom, but we do encourage to think about ways to end the boredom on occasion.
We have just the thing. What do you think about preparing a nice meal where you both equally engage in the preparation. However, there is a twist. We want you to prepare the meal without verbally communicating in any way. This will force you both to come up with creative ways to communicate. If you both know and use sign language, refrain from that as well. The point here is to do something you have never done before.
Before Making the Meal
For this part, you can verbally communicate! Talk to each other about what kind of meal you would like to make. Decide on what type of foods you want. Would you prefer some old standards or maybe you might make the task even more fun by cooking something you have never made before. That would certainly add a challenge to the meal making. But again do not talk at all about how it will go during the cooking of the meal.
Find recipes on the internet. Of course cook whatever you would like, but I would recommend doing at least 3 types of food like a protein, a starch (potatoes or pasta for example) and a non-starch vegetable. If you are bold, try a dessert as well. Find recipes that incorporate several ingredients and spices to ramp up the difficulty level.
This is where we want the verbal communication to cease about the meal. Simply find the type of food you want and the recipe for such foods.
Even this activity as a married couple may be something you have never tried. In lots of marriages, often one person is solely responsible for cooking. In my marriage that would be Heather. Now I will offer my help, but really I don't do much to be fair. However, for anyone wondering I do clean the dishes and the mess after she cooks.
Making the Meal
As you get ready to prepare the meal together, it might be best if you doing as a date night with no kids. We recommend this because you can stay more mentally and emotionally present. When you have kids running under foot, it can make this much more difficult. At worst it can make it so you get frustrated and we do not want that. So think about that carefully.
From here, pull out the recipes that you wrote down. And now the fun begins. Let there be no talking from now until you complete the meal. You will work together to think about who does what. Will you each work on a separate food item or work together on items? How will you "ask" questions to get understanding from your spouse? Or maybe you won't ask questions and will simply just take your best shot at making something on your own. Can you coordinate so all items are done at the same time? The possibilities are endless. And there will be things that come up that you never anticipated, which is all in the fun that this should be for both of you.
After you are finished cooking the meal, you could even extend as a bonus the non-verbal communication to the plating of the food and setting of the table. From here sit down together and enjoy this wonderful meal you prepared together. And hey if something didn't turn out to your liking, just laugh it off because you tried.
After the Meal
After the meal is over here is where you can debrief about how it all went. Of course you can certainly do this during the meal as conversation as well. With this there are at least 4 questions you can ask each other about how it went. These 4 questions should spring board you to lots of other questions and some great conversations. Here are the questions:
1. What was it like for you to cook the meal without verbally communicating? Describe this at various points of the preparation and cooking.
2. What did you like about communicating non-verbally?
3. What did you not like about communicating non-verbally?
4. Did anything happen that you did not expect?
Conclusion
We hope this was a great connecting experience in the life of your relationship as a married couple. Sometimes even something this simple can spark a fresh set of other ideas for you to again continue to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
This reminds me of one of my favorite passages in the Bible:
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
The point is to keep doing new things because it causes new pathways and new opportunities in your relationship. And isn't that the point? To continue to grow as a married couple together and to be aware of moments of stagnation and do something about it.
Before You Go
Pick up the FREE "10 Practical Communication Strategies for Married Couples."
If you need more help in this area don't forget our free guide. It has 10 of our best tips for better communication. It also has a quiz and lots of writing and conversation prompts to connect more with your spouse while doing this activity together. Click here: 10 Practical Communication Strategies for Married Couples and we will send you the guide for free. You will also be subscribed to our newsletter which you can unsubscribe at anytime.
Comments