Scars That Speak

Healing. It is a conundrum. It’s physical. It’s mental. It’s emotional. It’s a matter of the heart. So, let’s get to the heart of the matter.

But first let’s talk about the physical healing after a cut, after a surgery, after a broken bone. We all know that a physical wound takes time to heal. It is a process. A slow process at times. We must care for that wound with medication, bandages, splints, or crutches. We must be patient with ourselves too. That is not easy for me! But, when you make the choice to care for your physical wound the right way, it will heal properly.

What About The Scar?

The scar is a reminder of what happened. And that is not always a good thing because those memories may bring out negative emotions.

In my experiences, the scars have reminded me of cancer, surgeries, car accidents, and traumatic brain injury. They are reminders of loss. Loss of being able to carry a child, loss of running another 10K, loss of freedom at times. Loss hurts. Those scars on my body hold the reminders of what I went through, what was painful.

But those scars also represent a place where there has been a healing.

That is how I choose to live. To see those scars and know where I was and where God has brought me. I am where I am and who I am today because of those experiences and traumas.

When we have physical scars or injuries, they are often seen by others. But when we experience emotional hurts and are left with scarring on our hearts, those around us may not see it. They may not understand why we are hurting or why we react in a certain way. They may not know we are in pain.

When we have that emotional pain, it comes out as frustration, short fuses, excessive tearful moments, lack of patience, anger, depression.  So, these negative emotions look…negative.  “OH, you just have a destructive personality, you are hard to get along with, you don’t care about other people.”  It may be a misrepresentation of who you really are deep inside, a hurting soul that need to heal.

Is There Is Hope?

Just like your body heals from trauma, your heart heals from trauma. It is what God wants to do, to heal you, to comfort you, to bring you to a new place in your life.

Let’s talk about those physical scars again. As they heal, they are discolored, bumpy, thick, ugly. That’s why we hate them. The scar was thicker than the skin around it because it was in self-protection mode. It was protecting the wound from germs, protecting the wound from further damage, healing it. But as time wore on that scar became lighter, softer, thinner, less ugly, less noticeable. It didn’t need to bulk up anymore as it had done its job as the body healed.

Now back to you and your heart. We behave like that ugly scar when we get hurt and build walls around ourselves in self-protection mode. We won’t let that person hurt us anymore, that person being a parent, child, spouse, sibling, coworker, boss, or friend. The reaction is often the same. We get a hard heart protecting the hurt heart inside.

Here Is Where We Find The Hope

Faith in God. Trust in him. Patience with the process. Patience with yourself.

Psalm 147:3 is a promise we can hold onto, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  In that verse God promises healing and he’s not talking about the physical body. He’s talking about your tender and sore heart. He wraps your heart in love and peace. He puts on the healing salve we need. When we let God heal the wound he begins to soften our hearts.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 tells us, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles.”  God promises comfort IN our troubles.  Think of God’s comfort like sitting in front of a fire, wrapped in a warm blanket on a cold night.  Comfort.  He loves and cares for you.  He knows you inside and out.  He knows your heart is hurting even when you hide it by building the impenetrable wall around yourself.  Let God bring the healing comfort to your wounded soul by laying your troubles at His feel.  Breathe deeply into His presence to find the peace and strength like a gift to your heart.  Isaiah 40:31 tells us “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." That is a beautiful promise that you will run and soar and have more strength than you can imagine, you will carry on!  Our part in this promise is that we HOPE in the Lord.  That means placing your trust and faith and hope into the One who is able to set you free and bring the healing.  God wants nothing more than to help you sour like that beautiful eagle.  He wants you to dance.  He wants you to twirl and laugh in joy.  We know this because of what the prophet Jeremiah says in chapter 31:13, "I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them and give them gladness instead of sorrow."  Let’s dance with freedom because of the healing! 

My favorite verse that I came across while in my own person pit of self-pity, hurt, and scarring is found in Isaiah 43:18-19, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not see it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."  THIS VERSE!  Wow! Let me break it down…

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” What is that command?  Forget it, don’t think about it all the time.  How?  By thinking, dwelling, meditating on God, His promises, the beautiful scriptures.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not see it?” Something is happening in this part!  How exciting to know that you are not a forgotten child, you are still God’s child, His precious child.  And even though we do not see the finished product of our lives or why we endured something so incredibly painful, God is telling us He is doing something new.  He is creating a new person, the one He wants you to be, stripping off the old rusty, crusty exterior, polishing, shining, molding you into something beautiful.  Do you see it?  Maybe not right away, but look at God, and you may catch a glimpse of the new thing.

“I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” The wilderness can be a lonely place.  The wasteland can feel dry and barren.  Your soul can feel lonely, dry, and barren.  Scarred.  But do you see in the verse that says “streams?”  Water, refreshing and clean.  He is doing it in your heart.  How?  By leaning into Him, trusting that He is doing a mighty, life changing work in you.

Where Do I Start?

Let’s shift back to talking about the physical healing.  Remember when I said we have to take part in our physical healing by caring for that wound with medication, bandages, splints, or crutches? Guess what? The same thing applies here. We need to do something about the broken parts of our hearts.  I don’t need to remind you why your heart hurts.  You know the damage that was done.  That wall is there.  It’s a fortress of unforgiveness in the name of “self-protection.”  The unforgiveness is a bitter root that is like poison to the soul. 

Yes, we need to go there. We learn to forgive. Can you pray for the person that hurt you?  Because that is a true sign of forgiveness.  This is not reconciliation of the relationship.  Those are two different things.  Maybe that is another blog for another time.  But forgiveness is a choice that YOU make.  Why?  Because Jesus chose to forgive you, because you are a child of God, because you want to live a life like Jesus, you choose to forgive.  Every day.

We pray. We praise God for being our Father.  We pour our hearts out to Him.  We leave the brokenness at His feet.  We pray when we hurt.  We pray when we feel victorious.  We pray. Recently I went through a massive heartache because things did not go as planned.  I remember being so broken and sore.  One Sunday morning during worship time at church I cried out to God, “God, when is this going to stop hurting?”  I very clearly heard Him say, “When are you going to give it to me?”  What a wake-up call!  While I was impatient with moving past my own hurt, I neglected to truly give the problem, pain, and hurts to God.  Praying and praising God, our Healer.

We need to have patience with ourselves as we heal. If you know me, you know I am not a patient patient!  I often rush back to the normalcy of life to mask the physical pain which sets me back a few steps in my physical healing process.  When will I learn?  In your emotional healing, be kind and patient with yourself.  On your good days, take notice of them and thank God for what He is doing.  On your bad days, pray and tell God you still trust Him regardless of what you feel.  Be patient. 

God’s desire for you is true healing.  He allows us to hurt and it changes us.  Choose to let that hurt change you for the better.  Let the remembrance of the hurt, that emotional scar, become soft and tender.  Let the scar remind you of how God healed you from the inside out.  Let the scar put a smile on your face because you know you are not where you were before.  You are a new creation in Christ. Soar like the eagles. Feel the freedom in letting God heal your hurts. See the scars in a new light.