Creating a Habit of Positivity in your Christian Marriage
For quite awhile now, I have really been working on my negativity. I can have a tendancy to see the worst in situations for sure. My knee jerk reaction to something new presented to me is to automatically assume that it won't work out. Then what makes it worse is that I will tend to vocalize this and bring down the mood of the people around me.
Most of the time when we discover something this significant in our lives, it probably comes from some traumatic event. I believe I have traced my tendancy to be negative to my parent's divorce. It happened when I was too young to remember, but obviously as I grew up I began to understand it more and more.
I also went through a divorce of my own which probably only added fuel to the fire. This most likely solidified this "it probably won't work out mantra" that has plagued me my whole life. And so you might be asking yourself, how in the world are you even doing something like "Love How Deep" which includes a Marriage Conference, a podcast (coming soon), these blog articles, the free resources, and the online courses? Well it comes from challenging that voice. Realizing that statement is some kind of subjective statement that was planted in my brain from an early age.
It has only been recently that I feel like I have more power over this mantra. I could not have done it without realizing first what God says about me in his Word.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalms 139: 13-16 NIV)
Simply knowing that the creator of the universe had a plan for me even before he made me has helped me realize that these negative thoughts are not from Him. So what a great start this is. But in order to keep it going I discovered that making a change of any kind requires doing something over and over again.
Making a 21 Day Habit
In order for something we do to really take, we need to make it a habit. I am sure you have read all kind of different timeframes for when something truly becomes a habit. I am not really sure what the right answer is, but I have chosen 21 days as the right amount of time for me to install a new habit in my own life.
From increasing my workouts to shiftng my diet, I have noticed that if I can keep going for about 3 weeks, it all of the sudden gets much easier. You have probably heard from science class that momentum is much easier to sustain or even increase with something that is already moving. It is much harder to get the momentum started from a standstill.
Instill Positivity With 3 Prompts A Day
So when it comes to maintaining that habit for 21 days, lets talk about what we are looking at doing for each of those days. Remember I talked about my negativity. Well this tends to be a universal issue that we all face even as Christians. Even when we are a Christian married couple and can seemingly have it all, we can still struggle with negativity.
Have you ever heard that humans have 50,000 thoughts every day and that 80% of them can be classified as negative?
Wow what an uphill battle that is. So what do we do about it? We interupt some of those thoughts with a 3 prompt daily journal that gets us thinking differently. If we can put together 3 positive responses then as we mentioned earlier the momentum from that has a tendancy to carry forward.
Use 21 Days of Gratitude Journal for a Habit of Positivity
We have created at Love How Deep, a gratitude journal to help instill more positive thinking in the midst of the difficult issues and stressors you face. Sometimes these are external pressures and sometimes like what I have described with myself is the pressure the negative voice inside my head can sometimes create.
The 21 Day Gratitude Journal is a free and quick way to develop a habit of thinking and expressing more positivity in your day and in your relationships. Each day you are presented with a bible verse that promotes being thankful. Following that you will be presented with 3 writing prompts to help you think about what you have to be grateful for in your life. You can write as little or as much as you want.
You will be asked the write about 3 different things everyday for 21 days. Depending on what you write and how you feel about being open, you can share what you wrote with your spouse. This can be an extra powerful way to increase the connection with your spouse. While you are being encouraged with what you have written, you can allow that encouragement to flow from you toward them.
You can pick up the journal by clicking 21 Day Gratitude Journal. It is a free PDF and you will also be subscribed to our newletter. You can unsubscribe at any time.
Please let us know about the journal and the experience has impacted you.
Comments