The Shepherd’s Psalm: How Trusting God Brings Peace to Your Marriage

Welcome back to Love How Deep. We are diving into a passage that has comforted and guided believers for millennia: Psalm 23. It’s often called the Shepherd’s Psalm, and while it's deeply personal, we believe the truths contained within it can have a profound, soul-restoring impact on your marriage.

When life is chaotic, when disagreements are frequent, and when your home feels anything but peaceful, this psalm offers a roadmap back to serenity—for your soul and for your relationship.

1. The Lord is My Shepherd: I Lack Nothing

The psalm begins with a powerful declaration: “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” (Psalm 23:1, NIV).

As Christians, we understand that sheep know their shepherd’s voice. If we are listening, that voice of the Holy Spirit will guide us, often serving as a gentle correction when our own desires take the lead. We've certainly had moments in our marriage where a disagreement was escalating, only to feel that clear, quiet voice say, "simmer down. That's not how you speak "

But that second phrase is what can feel like a tough pill to swallow: “I lack nothing.”

In our earthly, sometimes selfish lives, we often feel like we want and lack many things. We crave more money, more time, a different circumstance, or perhaps just a different outcome in a conflict. But God promises to take care of our needs, not necessarily our wants.

Just as we, as parents, lovingly deny our children what they want because we know what’s best, God sometimes withholds things from us because He knows we don't need it right now, or that it might lead us down the wrong path.

When you're arguing with your spouse over something you believe you "need," pause and ask the Lord: "Why do I truly want this, and what do you want for me?" Acknowledging that God gives us everything we need is the first step toward finding contentment and stopping the disagreement.

2. Quiet Waters: Finding Rest in the Chaos

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.” (Psalm 23:2).

The imagery here is one of total peace. It’s comforting, serene, and relaxing. While the phrase "He makes me lie down" might sound forceful, we see it as a loving invitation. God is not coercing us; He is guiding us toward the rest our souls crave because He knows what is best.

Just as a walk in nature—hiking in the Shenandoah Valley or even a quiet stroll around the neighborhood after dinner—can refresh our spirits, God offers us spiritual rest even amidst life’s chaos.

This verse serves as a reminder for your marriage: The world is full of noise and stress, and your home is meant to be a place of refuge. When you feel overwhelmed, seek out those “quiet waters” together. Whether it’s a moment of shared silence, prayer, or simply enjoying God’s creation, finding that collective calm is essential to worship and connection.

3. The Right Path: Trusting God’s Guidance

“He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right path for his name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:3).

While we have the free will to choose any path we want, God, our roadmap, is always there to guide us onto the right one. He doesn't force us, but He lays out the direction that will ultimately lead to our greatest good.

The key here is that He guides us "for his name's sake." This means He guides us out of His nature—out of His desire to be a faithful, good, and loving God. We can trust His guidance not because we deserve it, but because it brings glory to Him.

As you and your spouse make decisions about parenting, finances, or ministry, remember that God has it all laid out for you. Your job is to listen for His order, not to enforce your own.

4. The Rod and Staff: Comfort in Protection

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4).

God never promised an easy life; He promised He would never leave us. We have gone through trials in our 20 years together, but the promise of Emmanuel—God with us—remains. When we feel distant or silent, we need to realize that He is still right there.

The rod and the staff are tangible signs of the shepherd's care and are a source of comfort:

• The Staff is used for guidance and rescue. The shepherd uses the long part to gently maneuver the sheep, and the crook (or hook) is used to loop around a fallen sheep and pull it out of danger—a life raft in a time of crisis.

  
  

• The Rod is used for protection and discipline. It is a weapon to ward off predators (like wolves coming against your marriage) and it is used to gently enforce boundaries.

  
  

This speaks volumes to your marriage. The boundaries God sets in place—His laws and principles—are not to restrict us, but to protect us. They are like the guardrails on a bridge, ensuring we don't drive off the edge. When we step outside those boundaries, we sometimes get "burned" by the consequences of our own choices, but we can still find comfort knowing that His presence (the rod and staff) is there to protect us from our enemies and pull us back from danger.

5. Anointing and Overflow: Oasis in the Storm

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” (Psalm 23:5).

God doesn't wipe out your enemies; He prepares a feast right in their presence! This "table" can be seen as an oasis—a spiritual celebration and sustenance provided by God even while you are under attack.

In your marriage, your home can be that oasis. No matter the chaos, stress, or challenges you face in the outside world, you can cultivate a place of refuge where you and your spouse can relax, refresh, and receive the goodness of the Lord.

The anointing with oil represents the blessing and presence of the Holy Spirit, bringing refreshing, healing, and a sense of covering. This is how your home should feel when you and your spouse walk through the door: a place of refuge where you are both refreshed and restored.

6. Forever: God’s Enduring Promise

The psalm concludes with a beautiful declaration: “Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6).

This is a promise of eternity and an act of choice. Just as God promises to follow you, you make the declaration: "I choose to delight in the Lord; I choose to be with You forever."

For your marriage, this scripture is the ultimate reassurance. When you feel at your wit's end, turn to this psalm. Meditate on its words. Allow its promises to bring refreshment and peace to your spirit. Trust that the Shepherd who lacks nothing is guiding you, protecting you, and setting a table for you in your home.

If you are looking for more biblical resources to bring healing to your relationship, be sure to check out our online course on forgiveness. Visit Forgiveness Online Course.