How Home Improvement can mean Marriage Improvement
Yup, that’s right! We are still talking about setting goals in your life and marriage! This one is a little different. Goal Setting 201 is designed to help you organize the myriad of dreams and visions that quite often take money and time. They can be so overwhelming that sometimes you do not even know where to start! Hopefully this blog article will help you clarify and communicate goals to tackle regarding your home. The Bible says to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." (Eph 4:2-3 NIV). Keep this in mind as you work together to determine, set, and reach those goals.
Take a Walk
Yes. Walk around your home together, inside and out, noting anything that needs to be done or you would like to update. Wall color, pillows, flooring, artwork, windows, shrubbery, walkways, etc. And then take a deep breath because looking at that list will be overwhelming!
Get Organized
Set aside time to do this and get the paper and pencil ready. This is the fun part! Go in separate rooms and list up to three goals that you have for each category above. Then come together and take turns sharing your goals. You may share similar goals or you may surprise each other. Next, choose one or two goals for each category that you would like to pursue. Then talk about how reaching those goals can happen. How much time will it take? What is the estimated cost? What will it take for it to come to fruition?
Garage
Fresh coat of paint
Tall shelving unit
Organize tools
New storage tubs with labels
Fix electrical outlet
Replace door opener
Do this for each of your categories and it will make the next step simpler.
Deep Dive
Now look at each item on the list and determine its importance to you. How much would you like for this task to be completed? This matters because the thing that is important to the husband may not be important to the wife. Time for a good conversation with active listening! We suggest that each of you rate the importance with numbers 1, 2, and 3. The number 1 can mean that it is at the top of your wish list. Remember to respect each others scores and opinions. The purpose is to look at the level of importance on paper, not to problem solve, not to agree or disagree. The goal is to look for tasks that are equally important to both of you and to tackle those first.
Timing is Everything
Now think about how quickly you would like for the tasks to be completed. Within the next 0 - 3 months, 3 months to 1 year, 1 year or more? This is just an idea. Use your own numbers to assign the time frame for everything. This allows you to organize just a little more to reach some small, simpler goals and have that feeling of accomplishment.
Money, Money, Money
Now it is time to talk about the money. You will want to estimate the cost of each task on the list. It is ok if you do not know the exact amount. By doing this you will be able to weigh out the items based upon cost, timing, and desire. You do not want to overextend yourselves financially just to spruce up your home. So, the money matters when setting and reaching goals you have set for yourselves as a couple.
Take Action
Together, agree on one task that you would like to have done. And do it! Cross that off the list and pick another one. It may take time but before you know it you will have reached numerous goals that make you love your home again. It will feel refreshed. Even more importantly, we want your marriage to feel refreshed and strengthened as you have come together in the minutia of marriage. As a reminder, living in unity with one another is God’s design. His word says, "how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!" (Psa 133:1 NIV)
Get the FREE "Goal Setting 201 Home Improvement Spreadsheet"
This workbook gives you the ability to set 3 Personal Goals, 3 Couple Goals, and 3 Family Goals. We recommend each spouse pick up a copy and complete the exercises individually separate from your spouse. Then come together to discuss. Then there are a couple of spaces for each goal to write an Action Step to get you moving in the right direction.
Click Here to Get the FREE GUIDE Goal Setting 201 Workbook.
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