A Husband's Guide to Spiritual Leadership: Simple Steps to Make a Big Difference

Husbands, are you ready to not just understand what it means to be a spiritual leader, but to feel the difference in your home? In my last post, we talked about the “why” behind this calling. Today, let’s get practical and talk about the “how.”

I know the idea of being a spiritual leader can feel awkward, especially if it’s new to you. You might worry you don't know enough or that your family will think it’s weird. I get that. But I want you to remember this: perfection is the killer of progress. You don't have to be a pastor or a Bible scholar. You just have to be willing to take small, steady steps.

Think about going to the gym. The first time you lift weights, your biceps aren't going to grow three inches overnight. But if you show up consistently, week after week, you will see a change. I would rather see a husband take a few small, consistent steps of faith than try to do everything at once and burn out.

So, let's start with a few practical steps you can take this week.

Step 1: Work on Your Own Faith First

You can't pour from an empty cup. Before you can lead your family, you need to fill your own spiritual tank. This might look like just 5-10 minutes a day of reading your Bible or praying.

I know what you're thinking: "But what if I don't feel anything?" That’s okay. There are days when I read Isaiah and I feel like nothing is popping out at me. Then, all of a sudden, I’ll hit a chapter like Isaiah 53, and boom—it hits me right between the eyes. It's like a spiritual Easter egg hunt. You keep looking, and when you find one, it lifts your spirits and keeps you going.

This isn’t about instant gratification; it’s about putting in the work because you know it’s good for you. Find a time that works for you—your lunch break, before bed, or even a few minutes in the car. Just open the Word.

Step 2: Pray With and For Your Wife

This is one of the most powerful, yet simple, things you can do. Go up to your wife and ask her, "How can I pray for you today?"

Now, here's a pro-tip for bonus points: instead of saying you'll pray later, say, "You know what? Let me pray with you right now." Even if it's just for a minute or two, it shows you care, it builds intimacy, and it invites God right into the center of your marriage. I'm working on being better at this one myself, because I know how much it means.

Why It's All So Important

Why should you bother with all of this? Because it has a ripple effect that touches every part of your life.

For your marriage: When you and your wife have a shared vision—following the Lord together—you build an unbreakable bond. It creates a deep closeness that I didn't have in my first marriage, and it’s a foundation that can withstand any storm.
For your kids: I was blessed to have parents who sent me to church, even though our family’s faith wasn't perfect. That foundation was strong enough to bring me back to my faith after I had wandered away. Research shows that when a husband goes to church, the rest of the family is much more likely to follow. Your leadership sets a powerful example.
For your own faith: As you take small steps of faith, you'll start to see God work in your life. With each success, your faith will grow, and you'll become more confident in taking bigger steps in the future.
Because it's God's plan: A strong family unit is the foundation of our society. A strong family leads to a strong community, a strong community leads to a strong city, and so on. Your spiritual leadership is like a pebble dropped in a lake, creating ripples that can change the world.

Step 3: Start Family Devotions (Even Short Ones)

Once you're a bit more comfortable, you can start a simple family devotional. This doesn't have to be a long, formal event. You can find short devotionals online, or you can just pick one Bible verse and ask, "What do you think this means?" I love Isaiah 43:18—it talks about God doing a new thing, streams in the wasteland. Reading a verse like that and letting your family share their thoughts can open up powerful conversations. The key is to be consistent, even if it's just for five minutes.

Step 4: Say What You're Thankful For Out Loud

This is a game-changer. At dinner, in the car, or before bed, ask everyone to share a few things they're thankful for. It doesn't have to be anything big—maybe it’s the sunshine, the food on the table, or the fact that you're all together. This simple practice can help rewire your family’s brains to think more positively and to see all the good things God has done. As the spiritual leader, you have to model this for them. Show them what a grateful heart looks like.

Step 5: Serve Others Together as a Family

Christianity is not just about what we do inside the home; it's about what we do for others. Find a small way to serve together as a family. Volunteer at a local organization, help a neighbor, or make a meal for someone in need. This teaches your children compassion and an outward-focused faith. For them, seeing you take action speaks louder than any sermon.

Overcoming the Roadblocks

As you start to do these things, you might run into some roadblocks.

You'll feel awkward. That's normal. Just keep going. Remember the book title, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
Don't wait for perfection. You don't have to have it all figured out before you start. God will equip you as you go.
Busy schedules are a real problem. Ask God to show you the little "nooks and crannies" in your schedule where you can fit these things in.

Your spiritual leadership is a journey. It's not about being perfect, but about taking small, intentional steps. God is with you every step of the way. I challenge you to try just one of these things this week and see what God does.

And as a final action, be the proactive husband and take the first step. Download our free "10 Practical Strategies for Communication" guide and invite your wife to work through it with you. She will be thrilled that you took the initiative.