Nurturing Your Relationship Through Faith
While we can't promise by reading and doing what is written here that everything will be perfect, we can tell you that it most likely will help a lot. God has a plan for your lives as individuals and as a married couple. The only way to get to know that plan is to connect more to each other and to God by using the examples we list below.
Praying Together as a Couple
"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven." (Matthew 18:19 NIV)
In my counseling practice, I recently saw a man named Daniel (not his real name). His wife had left him and he told me that he wished he had prayed more for and with her. He said that he now realizes the importance of this and he is doing it on his own. He also prays good things for his wife even though some days are harder than others. Daniel said sometimes God tells him to do the hard things, so that He can do the even harder things. This of course doesn't mean that God will only work when we work, because after all we are saved by grace and not of works. However, God wants us to be an active participant with Him.
Let's hope you are not in a similar situation as Daniel and that you are together and can incorporate prayer. There is really nothing as powerful as praying together as a married couple. Thanking God for who He is and what He has done can be an amazing part of prayer if you start with that. Then we would suggest, praying in 3 parts after that. First, pray for Thanksgiving of the wonderful gift in your spouse. Be specific and pray about the things you love about your spouse. Then pray for Forgiveness for anything that may separate you and your spouse. It could be something small, it could be something big. Then pray a specific Blessing over your spouse. It might be as simple as "I pray that my wife be blessed and given back her time 10 fold for the amount of time she spends teaching children. Doing these things can help deepen the connection you have with each other as a married couple.
Studying God's Word Together
"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." (Psalm 119:105 NIV)
Heather and I have been incorporating more and more of this into our routine. It could be reading a verse of the day and talking about what it means to each of us. It could be a book on Discipleship (that we are currently reading together with a group). Even what we are doing with "Love How Deep" and how to put out the best content also draws us together as a married couple. All of this revolves around God's Word and making sure that we are studying it individually and together as a team.
We would encourage you to do something like this in your relationship. For some couples this is easy. It takes a simple discussion and you are off to the races. For others, there can sometimes be one of you (quite possibly the one NOT reading this), who finds that type of activity less important. They can also be less proactive even when you request it. Don't give up asking and praying for your spouse. The ultimate goal is greater connection as a married couple and really whoever said on their death bed, I wish I had spent more time alone. Nobody says that so let's get cracking!
Serving Others as a Team
"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4:10 NIV)
Once you have gotten a better handle on connecting more deeply as a couple, it becomes time to take this outside your relationship. What better way than to serve others together. The possibilities are limitless here. Having a conversation about what you like and dislike about serving can get the ball rolling. Now of course we would totally tell you to ask for God's assistance in hearing His voice for what He would have you do. You might find that God is asking you to do something that is out of your comfort zone or that you downright don't even like. Let me just tell you that sometimes the blessings when you do that come in much more than if you pick something you are comfortable with doing.
After you figure out what you might like to do to serve, then next step is to simply start doing it. Back in 2011, Heather and I joined the marriage mentoring ministry at our local church. Even though we wanted to give back, I was scared to death for many reasons. At the end of the day the desire to help premarital couples be more prepared for marriage and to help distressed couples make repairs in their marriage won out. It has been an amazing ride since then. It has not been without its bumps and disagreements. Sometimes we start arguing over the very thing we are trying to help our couple with! Talk about a deflating experience. Nevertheless we forge on toward the goal God would have for us and these couples.
Conclusion
We hope this has helped you get the conversation going toward a more connected marriage. Think of your marriage like a triangle. God is at the tip and the two of you are at its points. When you incorporate God's Word into the equation, you grow closer to Him which in turn helps you grow closer together.
If you do have something disconnecting the two of you like a hurt or a betrayal, take a look at our special offer below. We believe taking this course will clear the way for doing what we talk about in this article.
The Power of Forgiveness: Online Married Couples Course
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Is there a hurt or betrayal that is causing the two of you to not be fully connected? Did you read this and realize the concept of forgiveness is lacking in your marriage? Well we have just the thing for you and your spouse. As a Christian married couple it is so important for you, the kids, your family, and our society to get forgiveness right.
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