From Counseling to Retreats to Mentoring, Discover the Tools to Enhance Your Couple Relationship
Hey there! We hope your marriage is going along just swimmingly, but we also know that marriage is not easy. The joy you get from your marriage will hopefully outweigh the day to day grind and seasons you are in as married couples. However, you may be in a place where the hope and joy you once had may be waning a bit. Know that this is much more common that you know and that there is no shame in seeking outside help to give your marriage relationship a boost.
Several years ago, Heather and I sought out a Mentor couple from our church to help us navigate parenting challenges and disagreements. It was so helpful for each of us to take a breath and identify what was important to each of us and to calmly work with each other to come to win-win solutions. Since that time we point back to those few sessions we had as extremely helpful to us.
There are all sorts of ways to get help and that is what we want to discuss today. So let's put some tools in your toolbox. Maybe you need a complete overhaul, maybe some minor repairs, or maybe you just want to make what is good even better by doing an updated renovation. Whatever place you may be in, we think you will find one or many of these ideas to be extremely helpful for your marriage relationship.
Marriage Counseling
Seeking guidance from a professional therapist or counselor trained in marriage therapy can provide couples with valuable tools to navigate challenges and strengthen their bond. Many counselors offer both secular and faith-based approaches.
We at Love How Deep would recommend a Faith based counselor so that you get a Biblical perspective on your marriage. Just make sure you find someone that still meets you where you are and gives you both a non-judgmental space to discuss what has happened and what you would like to happen in therapy and in your relationship.
From a Secular point of view, I would highly recommend you look for a marriage counselor that is trained in either Gottman Method Couples Therapy or Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). These are considered the gold standard for couples therapy. While I am not fully certified in either approached, I am heavily trained in each approach and I can vouch for both. Gottman is a more practical skills based approach, while EFT focuses on digging into the underlying emotions that motivate our behaviors. Both actually also dovetail into each other as well.
Helpful Resource: Seek out a licensed Christian therapist who specializes in marriage counseling, such as those listed on the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) directory.
Website: AACC - Find a Counselor
Pastoral Counseling
Couples can seek guidance and support from their religious leader or pastoral counselor within their faith community. Pastoral counseling often integrates biblical principles and prayer into the counseling process.
Pastors will typically utilize the Bible for all the answers necessary to help with your marriage. This is a no-nonsense approach that can feel a bit confrontational at times, but as long as the pastor can deliver the message in both truth and love then there is a lot to be gleaned. Now, this approach can be more difficult if one person is not on board and not doing there part. The Bible still tells each person to do what they can in spite of what the other person is doing or committing to. So you may each be asked or advised to do things that do feel too comfortable.
However, the thought here is that actions in your marriage relationship will eventually lead to feelings that return. The actions though must be healthy. A pastor can guide you to what those healthy actions are that will help you have a more connecting and strengthened marriage relationship.
Schedule a counseling session with your pastor to discuss specific challenges or concerns in your marriage and seek guidance based on biblical principles.
Prayer and Devotion
Engaging in regular prayer together as a couple can deepen your spiritual connection and provide a sense of unity. Prayer not only invites God into your marriage but also allows you to express gratitude for each other and seek guidance in times of need. Setting aside time each day to pray together can be a powerful way to prioritize your relationship and invite God's presence into your marriage.
Additionally, incorporating devotional time into your routine, such as reading scripture together or discussing spiritual insights, can help you grow spiritually as a couple. Sharing your faith journey with each other can foster intimacy and strengthen your bond, as you explore how your beliefs shape your approach to life and love.
Start a daily prayer routine together as a couple, where you take turns praying for each other, your marriage, and any specific concerns or blessings.
Website: Crosswalk - Marriage Prayers
Marriage Enrichment Programs
Many churches and faith-based organizations offer marriage enrichment programs or retreats designed to strengthen relationships and provide couples with tools for communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy. These programs often incorporate biblical principles and offer opportunities for couples to connect with others who share similar values and beliefs.
Attending a marriage enrichment program can provide a supportive environment where you can learn from experienced facilitators and interact with other couples facing similar challenges. Through workshops, discussions, and activities, you can gain insights into your relationship dynamics and develop practical skills for building a stronger marriage. Additionally, participating in a retreat allows you to step away from the distractions of daily life and focus on each other, deepening your connection and creating lasting memories together.
Helpful Resource: Attend a Weekend to Remember marriage conference hosted by FamilyLife, where you can learn practical tools and biblical principles for building a stronger marriage.
Website: FamilyLife - Weekend to Remember
Community Support Groups
Joining a support group specifically for married couples can provide a sense of community and shared experience. These groups may be organized by churches, community centers, or counseling centers and offer a safe space for couples to share their struggles, receive encouragement, and learn from others who have faced similar challenges.
Being part of a community support group allows you to connect with other couples who understand the ups and downs of marriage, providing validation and solidarity in your journey. Through group discussions, activities, and mutual support, you can gain new perspectives on your relationship and feel empowered to overcome obstacles together.
Helpful Resource: Focus on the Family: Small Group Bible Studies has lots of great resources to give you material for a community support group or small group you might want to lead at your church. They say that teaching and leading others is a great way to get something into your bones to help especially in your marriage relationship.
Communication Skills Workshop
Learning effective communication skills is crucial for any marriage. Workshops or classes focused on communication techniques, active listening, and expressing needs can help couples navigate difficult conversations and misunderstandings.
Look for workshops that offer practical tools and strategies for improving communication in your relationship, such as practicing reflective listening or using "I" statements to express feelings. By honing your communication skills together, you can build a foundation of trust and understanding that strengthens your connection and helps you resolve conflicts more effectively.
Attend a Love and Respect marriage conference, where you can learn practical communication techniques based on biblical principles.
Books and Resources
There is a wealth of literature available on marriage and relationships, including many Christian-focused books that offer insights and practical advice for strengthening marriages. Reading together and discussing key concepts can be beneficial for couples seeking to deepen their connection and grow together.
Look for books that resonate with your beliefs and values as a couple, and consider exploring different topics such as communication, intimacy, and forgiveness. By incorporating insights from experts and personal experiences shared in books, you can gain new perspectives on your relationship and discover practical strategies for overcoming challenges.
Read "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman together as a couple, and discuss how you can apply the principles of love languages to strengthen your relationship.
Website: The 5 Love Languages
Retreats and Getaways:
Taking time away from daily responsibilities to focus on each other can rejuvenate a marriage. Retreats or weekend getaways designed for couples provide opportunities for relaxation, reflection, and reconnection. Consider attending a marriage retreat that offers both spiritual nourishment and practical tools for strengthening your relationship.
Through workshops, counseling sessions, and recreational activities, you can deepen your bond and create cherished memories together. Retreats also allow you to step out of your routine and prioritize your relationship, giving you the space and time to reconnect with each other on a deeper level.
Plan a weekend getaway to a Christian marriage retreat center like WinShape Marriage, where you can enjoy relaxation, counseling, and activities designed to deepen your connection.
Website: WinShape Marriage Retreats
Marriage Mentors
Seeking guidance from a more experienced married couple can provide valuable perspective and support. Mentor couples can offer advice, accountability, and encouragement as younger couples navigate challenges in their own marriage. Look for mentors who exemplify the kind of relationship you aspire to have and who are willing to invest in your marriage journey.
By learning from their experiences and receiving guidance tailored to your unique situation, you can navigate obstacles more effectively and strengthen your relationship over time. Mentorship provides a valuable opportunity to receive personalized support and encouragement from couples who have walked the path before you, inspiring you to overcome challenges and grow closer as a couple.
Seek out an experienced couple in your church who can serve as mentors and provide guidance and support as you navigate challenges in your marriage. If your church does not have a marriage mentor program, check out the National Association of Marriage Enhancement (NAME).
Online Resources and Apps
In today's digital age, there are numerous online resources and apps available to support marriages. From relationship quizzes and communication tools to daily devotionals and virtual counseling sessions, couples can access support from the comfort of their own home. Explore reputable websites, apps, and online communities that align with your values and offer practical guidance for enhancing your marriage.
Whether you're looking for tips on communication, conflict resolution, or intimacy, there are countless resources available at your fingertips. By taking advantage of online resources and apps, you can proactively invest in your marriage and strengthen your relationship, no matter where you are on your journey.
Download the "YouVersion Bible App" and explore marriage devotionals and reading plans together as a couple, which offer daily reflections and scripture passages to strengthen your relationship.
Link: YouVersion Bible App
Get the FREE "10 Practical Communication Strategies for Married Couples" Guide
The guide comes with a quiz to identify what you do well and what needs work.There are 10 tips and conversation starting questions for each that you can ask each other.The purpose is to enhance communication in your marriage and to draw you more emotionally close.
Click Here to Get the FREE GUIDE 10 Practical Communication Strategies for Married Couples.
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