Making the Best Decision for Our Kids as a Christian Married Couple
As a Christian Married Couple, it is really easy for someone on the outside to tell you what is best for your kids. However, this is not as easy of a decision as it sounds like. There is so much that can go into making a decision like this that we will explore in this article today. Part of the reason that it can be a tough decision is that you might realize that this will profoundly impact your child moving forward with their lives especially as they get into adulthood. It can impact not only their academic development, but social, cultural, and spiritual development as well.
So we will take some time today to delve into the important pieces that you should consider when making this decision.
1. Understand Your Individual and Family Values when choosing a Christian Private School or Public School
As a Christian Married Couple it is important that you both focus some of your time on what is important to you. You can start by going back a bit to childhood. Have some discussions with each other about how your parents raised you. Were you raised in a strict home with a heavy adherence to Christian values. Were you raised in a home with a more loose adherence? Or maybe you did not grow up in a Christian home.
Talking about how you were raised and what is important to you is the first step in making a good decision together. Often, people either want to raise their kids exactly as they were raised or in a completely opposite way. It is good for both spouses to recognize what role their childhood plays in how you each view the Christian Private School versis Public School debate for the children.
Its obviously also important to consider what type of school you went to as a child. Think about what was good about the experience and what was not good about the experience. Communicating about that is also an important way to set the foundation.
2. List out Pros and Cons of Christian Private School
When you each make a list, we encourage you to make list of pros and cons separately and then come together to discuss. In this section, we will discuss our own list but yours may be a bit different and that is okay. Remember these are subjective and are our opinion as to what is good and not good about each option.
Pros of Christian Private School:
Christian Based Education and Values
Usually Smaller Class Sizes
Usually a Strong Sense of Community
Potential for Bonds due to Spiritual Connection
Openly Free to Discuss Christianity
Cons of Christian Private School:
Higher Tuition Costs
Limited Diversity in Terms of Beliefs and Backgrounds*
Varying Quality of Education Among Different Institutions
So what do you think after reading these lists? I have to comment on the one with the asterisk. Some people who read this may bristle at "limited diversity" being a con. This statement is not to say that we Christians have to be okay with other spiritual viewpoints, but what it means is that it might good to have other viewpoints so that a child who is being raised in a Christian home can learn to defend (in love) what they believe. Now others with different religious views are not our enemy, but ever heard that in a war you have to study the enemy to know what to do to defeat that enemy.
3. Pros and Cons of Public School
Let's talk now about public school. This is where both Heather and I attended school when we were growing up. She lived in a Christian home and although I was "sent to church" as a child I didn't feel as though I was raised in a Christian environment at home at the time. I would imagine a big reason we were not sent to a Christian Private School was due to cost.
Nevertheless let's look at the Pros and Cons of Public School:
Pros of Public School:
Greater Diversity and Exposure to Different Perspectives
More Affordable or even free education
Bus Transportation provided by School
Cons of Public School:
Limited or No Focus on Spirituality or Religion
Usually Larger Class Sizes and less individual attention
Concerns about secular influences
Again, I should reiterate the exposure to different perspectives is not saying that as a Christian we are okay that someone believes there is another way to heaven or that there is a better way to live. We are simply saying the knowing and understanding these difference could be important down the road.
4. Evaluate Academic and Extracurricular Offerings at both the Christian Private School and the Public School
If you have schools in mind, make sure to do the due diligence when looking at what each school offers. Some questions to ask yourself when reviewing would include:
Does the subject matter prepare my child for college or a specific vocation?
Is there any course or subject matter that would go against the values you want to instill?
Are there extracurricular activities that my child is passionate about or would help them grow?
Whether Christian Private or Public, what is allowed when it comes to spirituality and religious discussions?
How does the school communicate what my child is experiencing and learning. Finding out if the school does a general newsletter and how each specific teacher communicates can be extremely important.
5. Review Finances when debating the Christian Private School or Public School
If you are leaning the private school option, then taking a look at your finances will be key. You will have to weigh what burden if any it will place on you to finance this option. Of course think about how many years and multiply that by the number of children you have.
Don't forget to think creatively so that you don't say no to this option. You check to see what kind of financial aid might be available either through the school or if there are grants in other places. I am not an advocate of going into debt to fund a child's education but there is that option as well. Also, would other family members be willing to help? I would recommend that either you work out with the family member that this be a gift with no strings and not a loan. Loans often create rifts.
6. Pray About This Decision
If you are thinking about Christian Private school versus Public Schools then obviously Christianity is important to you. That being said, prayer is a good thing. Sometimes getting quiet with God, can help you hear his voice. God has a plan and a purpose for your marriage and your kids. The plan is not to harm but to work all things good for those that are called according to his purpose. So don't be afraid to spend lots of time alone and together as a couple and a family in prayer.
7. Making the Final Decision: Christian Private School or Public School
This is a big decision for sure. However, I look at this as a "2 way door decision." This means that if you make the decision to go one way, you can always reverse course if something is not working out right. Reversing course if often easy because we are dealing with emotions and so I would take into consideration how settled your child is before making a decision to change.
Don't be shy to reach out to friends, family, and your church for support in making your decision.
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